Ollie’s take: My Turkey Thievery Adventures

Over the weekend I went to my grandpa’s birthday party. Boy is that location great! I had a huge yard to run, a million things to pee on, and another dog to help show me some ropes. I spent most of the day doing my two favorite things: catching my Frisbee, and licking people. In between those sessions I found some nice shade area to lounge in, but for some reason my mom kept ushering my away from this one really amazing shaded spot. Something about grapes. Anyway, I digress.

As the day goes on I occasionally notice some wafts of delicious smelling items.  These items smell like they’re quite close, and they definitely smell like something that doesn’t go in my dog bowl. So I start to wander around and check things out, but discretely, so no one knows what’s going on. After all, I’m frequently told that I’m “such a good dog,” so I figure no one detects my end came. Finally I start to see people begin to converge in one area of the yard, they all appear to be chatting and having a good time. Naturally I go over and make my presence known, give people some licks and get lots of pats for being such a good boy.

That’s when I figured it was time to make my move. As people were deep in conversation and their bellies were starting to fill, I just casually made my way closer and closer to the buffet table. At this point no one suspects a thing: “Awe, look at Ollie, he’s so good minding his business and staying out of trouble.” Yes, yes, I am a cute good boy so I give them a few more smiles and butt wiggles just to feed the audience.

Finally, as everyone turns their back on this good boy, I quietly sneak over to the buffet table, sniff around a bit, stretch ever so slightly… and then I snatch a piece of turkey off the plate in the most noticeable and loud way possible! VICTORY IS MINE!

Suddenly, mom starts to rush towards me, people are shouting my name, and I’m so certain mom’s going to tell me what a good cute boy I am. But this isn’t what happened at all! Instead, this big giant piece of super amazing and delicious turkey breast is snatched straight from my mouth! Mom didn’t even let me get the chance to devour a quarter of it. Instead of people praising my cute good boy routine, suddenly I’m told “no” and “come, sit, stay.” Don’t people understand that this was one of my finest moments! Don’t people understand that I simply wanted to relish in the birthday celebrations with them! Does no one understand the skill it took to get that turkey!

In the end I guess it didn’t turn out all too bad. Since the turkey ended up on the outside patio, mom ended up taking it and feeding me some at a later time. Only this time I had to listen to commands and work for it, which I guess at the end of the day isn’t so bad after all. I mean, I still did get the turkey.

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